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Day 2

I am a walking zombie…

my head hurts, I didn’t sleep all night and I feel like I got kicked in the stomach.

My babies started school today! My almost 5 year old started TK and my baby started preschool. They were the best dressed kids in class. I was reminded to not send them so stylish and not to put honest juices in their lunch boxes…. ooops

Today consisted of me sitting at the coffee shop staring at the Virgen de Guadalupe and praying to her for a miracle. My coffee trip was followed by a phone call to my aunts. I lost it. I sobbed like a baby. But I felt this overwhelming comfort. We may not have all the answers or let alone don’t know where we are going to start, but I knew our family is built on very strong stubborn genes and I knew in that moment that we are going to be ok.

Then I sobbed some more on the way home…

I came home to find my mom extremely anxious… so I threw my nephew under the bus and told her to take a hit of his vape pen. She said she would offer me some but I should not because of my job. And I didn’t. Even though it is legal… we talked. I was scared to be alone. I didn’t know what to say, I just wanted to run home. But I didn’t. She went on to tell me that I need to take care of my dad. I told her let’s slow it down. We don’t even know what these aliens inside your body are yet. One obstacle at a time. For now we will remain positive and start eating a plant based diet!

I tried to nap, but then got a call from the GYN ONC she scheduled an appointment for tomorrow.

Off I went to do my big girl grad school biz. Felt good to be around my classmates who are still completely strangers, but I found comfort in the our discussion about nursing research and evidence based practice.

Pray for us tomorrow…

– B

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